The Birth of the Modern Condem

There is no doubt in my mind where the idea of the modern day condom came from. Some where (probably in France where food, love and birth control have been perfected) a woman was making sausage and thought there was another good use for knotted pig or sheep intestine. 

     Needless to say my day of making sausage was probably the most failic 8 hours I've ever spent without a man in the room. And an arduous 8 hours it was, helped along with a good sense of humor and tasty bottle of zinfandel.

    We set out at about 9:30AM intent on making Sopprasata with defrosted pig shoulder, pork butt and a garbage bag full of fat. 

     I was on fat duty. I picked through little bits, big slabs and grisly looking things with hair attached to find "clean" fat. I wanted fat that was white, thick and had no sinew (which I learned, the hard way, clogs up the grinder). While I cut up the fat, culling all muscle, sinew and any other suspect looking thing, my host Stephanie, cubed up the meat. 

   Lucky for me Stephanie has a big, beautiful, exceptionally well-equipted, professional kitchen in her home and has everything one could ever need to make sausage. We started feeding the meat into the grinder, watching the little tubes of pulverize muscle make it's way out of the holed metal plate, while the little motor whirred. The chopped fat, that had been place in the freezer to firm back up, was mixed with the ground meat, some spices, salt and some Insta-cure (the stuff that makes sure the meat cures without growing anything nasty or deadly) and the whole thing was fed through the grinder again, this time sending the little motor into a high pitched hum and warm temperatures. 

All this time, the seemingly miles of pig intestine, were soaking in luke warm water. The hog casing is packed in salt water for storage and by soaking it, not only is the salt washed away but the casings are softened up a bit for the next rather delicate and difficult stage in this sausage making extravaganza.

     Steph pulled out her "stuffer" - a metal contraption with a crank down top and a stiff tube coming out of the bottom - and started packing it with the ground mass. We then very carefully threaded the hog casing on the the erect metal tube (yes, this is the point at which it starts getting falic). This took us enough time to each drink a full glass of wine since ALL of the casing had to be pushed on the tube in order to make linked sausages.

     With a knot securely tied in the end of the casing, I start to crank. The casing immediately fills up with air and looks just like a blown up condom. Steph runs to get a pin and starts pricking the casing to let the air out.  Then the meat starts coming but it's comes in clumps so as I crank, Steph has to massage it around so it fills the casing without bubbles. In the process of massaging, she tears the casing and hurriedly knots off the torn end as the pressure has built in the stuffer and there's no holding back the oncoming mass of meat. This goes on with both 

of us alternatively pricking, massaging, knotting, twisting, cranking and drinking until the stuffer is empty.

 

   And there they lay - twelve 6-8 inch ready to dry sopprasata sausages. We hung them in Steph's house for 24 hours and then moved them to my basement and hung them in a cotton garment bag for 6 weeks, keeping a bowl of water near by to keep the air moist. By Christmas they were ready and served as noshes at Steph's house and were part of my locavore gift packages at  my house. 

    Now,  on to kielbasa....